Coral Bay Yachting Club Builds Clubhouse

By Poin T. Enn, Yachting Editor

The Coral Bay Yachting Club has purchased Estate Zootentooten and will build a clubhouse patterned on the Royal Northern and Clyde Yacht Club in Glasgow.

 
Project chairman Dick Richard said the planned slips for about 250 yachts will be smaller than the San Diego Yacht Club, but will accommodate larger yachts. Eric Crapton’s "Blue Banjo” and Raúl Castro’s “Royal Scion” will easily find space. And rumors are the Queen will recommission the Royal Yacht “Britannia” to get a spot.
 
“One of the reasons we are moving into Muilenburg clubhouse is that people felt it was okay to drift into our club meetings at Skinny’s,” said Richard.
 
“We’ve ordered 40 chandeliers for the enormous, formal dining room to be custom made in Murano and Maho using recycled Red Stripe bottles. This was the direct influence of Island Greed Builders,” said Richard. “We want to be environmentally responsible since we got a lease to use the entire Hurricane Hole for our private docks.” The cavernous reception hall will be a favorite place for weddings and commemorative dinners for the upper 1% or even the upper .01%. “We want to keep it affordable,” said Richard. “But of course it would be reserved for members of CBYingC.”
 
Elsa Engel, heiress of the Winnebago fortune and owner of the ultra yacht “Rawfishy,” is providing most of the financing for construction and operating expenses since Donald Trump could not come through with his promised support. “What good are billions if you don’t use them to have a little fun?” Engel said.

While membership in the Coral Bay Yachting Club will remain extremely exclusive, the general public will be welcome once a week for the Sunday Buffet that will be served in the informal beach-front snack bar. This will be welcomed since Caneel stopped serving their Sunday Brunch. The monthly blowout with Beluga, Ossetra and Sevruga caviars and Crystal will remain for members only.

CBYingC Commodore Bateau Leakey said, “We plan to institute the Around, Around, Around and Around Leduck Race and the 24-Hours of Anegada Passage to add to our already full calendar of races and events.”

Virgin Island yachting will never be the same.

Heard in the Street:

Three members of Pussy Riot are hiding out in Coral Bay.  They are growing beards and wearing camouflage bikinis to throw off searchers.  So say nothing if you see anybody strange in Coral Bay.